How to Love Each Other Like Romeo and Juliet (Even When You’re Going Through a Financial Crisis)

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Credit card debt will do it.

Medical bills can cause it, too.

Another phone call from a debt collector may make it worse.

The ‘it’ is stress.

Financial crises often cause stress.  When you have stress in your home, who do you think bears the brunt of that pressure?

Your spouse.

You spend all day trying to keep it together.  Trying to keep your emotions in check.  However, when you get home, you don’t want the nagging.  You don’t want the ignoring.  You don’t want the drama.

And sometimes you snap.

And the people you love the most are at the other end of fire-breathing stress.

With stress you must remember that it’s not what happens, rather how you react that is of the utmost importance. 

Warning: if couples do not proceed with caution during a time of financial stress, they might find out that they’ll be dealing with the loss of something more valuable than money – the loss of family.

12 Ways to Love and Support Each Other During a Financial Crisis

Focus time and energy on healthy activities.

Play with your kids.  Read good books that will build you up.  Spend time in quite devotions.  Linger with each other at the dinner table.  Get some exercise.

A healthy life leads to healthy actions. 

Even if you’re struggling financially, that doesn’t mean you should neglect these things.  In fact, the truth is these things become even more important during a crisis.

Talk openly.  Talk often.  Communicate deep feelings.

Stress causes all kinds of questions, thoughts, and concerns.  It often results in a loss of sleep. 

If you try to bury or ignore those pressing questions and concerns, you’ll fail.  They’ll come out – often in an unhealthy way.  Instead, commit to moving through the process together, not alone.  Use the phrase, “I feel …”.

A financial crisis can push you apart or pull you together.

Prioritize together.

When you talk openly, you’ll be able to make plans together.  When difficult decisions come up, ask each other:

• What is most important to you?
• What things do you value the most? 
• What people do you need around you? 
• If I lost “x”, things would be even worse. 

This will help when it comes to budgeting and when it comes time to let go of certain items.  Do it together.

Turn survival mode into a game.

Fun is hard when stress is a tower built upon stress.

If you need to tighten up the spending and switch into survival mode, you can still make it a game.

Compete to see who can find the lowest price on groceries.  Have a competition to figure out who is a better cook (for all the homemade meals you’ll be having).  See who can get the most clothes for $25 when you go shopping. 

This is the time to get the most mileage out of every single dollar. Spend carefully and intentionally.

Avoid blame while in the eye of the storm.

The only thing pointing fingers has ever done is made people blind. 

There will be a time to work through the core issues that brought about the financial crisis.  But the middle of the storm might not be the best place to discuss it.  When everyone is on the edge and has frayed nerves, skip the judging and wait till you are in a more healthy place emotionally.

There will be a time for reflection and debriefing, but in the midst of the chaos, you will do more harm than good if you start to play the blame game.

Turn to God.

God has always been a rock in a storm tossed sea.  He has been an anchor in the middle of a storm.  He’s been a source of stability in times of turmoil.

Don’t try and hide your problems or frustrations from God.  Instead, you should take them to him. Openly express everything that is in your heart.  Ask for his daily strength and wisdom.

Count your blessings.

Things may be bad, awful, or even horrible.  But are there any blessings in your life? 

Focusing solely on the problems and your lack of stuff will only cause depression. 

With chaos always comes opportunity.

Keep a journal.

If hindsight is 20/20, don’t you want to have a chronicle that details exactly what was going on and exactly how the problem was resolved?

If God is allowing this experience to teach you, then journaling will allow you to make note of the important ways God is working.  In the end, you’ll be able to remember how God was working because you took the time to journal. 

What have you done in the midst of financial devastation?  Any tips you wish to share?

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